I quit!

Hell no, this isn't a suicide note. And no it isn't a declaration of packing up my blog for good, though I admit I was tempted to do so. But it is like my private public space, which I am not giving up so soon. Well not until Google keeps it rental free.I don't publicise my blog , but I don't hide it either so the arrangement suits me fine. This place suits me great...
But where was I now? Yeah, quitting? I was wondering why are we so obsessively fed against quiting? Stuff like - 'winners never quit, quitters never win'. Well I know they sound cool , but only as long as the going is smooth or medium tough. Medium tough is the best situational option . You kind of feel heroic after coming out victorious and sighing in content- Yeah! I won my fight' -a fight probably in a situation which could be contained without any casualty.

Danger Signs- Don't lose your friend

How many of you have lost your friend or a dear one to depression, psychiatric diseases and maybe suicide? I have lost two of my friends to suicide and two to depression to the point that they became total recluse. They refuse to keep in touch with anybody. In the long run, such statistics begin to gnaw you with guilt. If only you knew how to prevent it, if only you knew what to do, if only you could stop it... and many other 'if's. I know I have started the year with a very bad, sad and inauspicious topic but maybe one of the most well meaning post I have ever attempted. This topic will not tell you how to deal with them, or what to do because even after being in a medical field I still am clueless on what I should have exactly done back then...
       Maybe a few suggestions here and there, but the post is more about identifying the danger signs, that someone is slipping away to his/her own private hell. Maybe your better sense will know exactly what to do if something of the sort is happening to one of your friends. But first of course we have to know and not only know but have to acknowledge the signs that our friends subconsciously sent to the world that they need help; that they need a friend; that they need someone to hold on...

Bra Code

Bra code unlike the bro code is not about universal sisterhood or else, wouldn't I have named it sis (which sounds more like sissy) code? So is it a neo feminist movement like burn the bra movement? Not exactly! I have never been comfortable with the term feminist and truly speaking I haven't grasped the meaning of that word till date in spite of looking it up in the dictionary quite a number of times.So what does the bra stand for? Well other than the obvious eyeball grabbing feature, bra stands here in my case, a short form of- bravery, brazen, brash - All the qualities that I feel are necessary for a female upto an extent, to survive and live according to one's own terms. Not that ultra feminine mild docile females don't survive, but maybe not in a manner they would want to. I don't guarantee happiness because I don't know your idea of happiness, but yes - if you follow the codes, there is a slim chance that people may not dare to mess with you.As it is , the world is so overcrowded , that in spite of every precaution of staying away from every body's line of fire, some one or other tends to tread on your toes. So aiming for that, I had formulated  these neo codes-something which your moms and husbands will never approve of.
The basic aims and principles  is to formulate some simple yet practical; unconventional yet sensible in a twisted way, doctrines which, if not in front of others,will surely redeem yourself, in your own eyes.

Dev Anand

I have never been a 'tribute' sort of person nor someone to praise someone to the stars. I have reached that age which do not get excited nor moved to the extreme degree by anything. The only public reaction that is evoked at the most is a twitch of the lips or lifting of an eyebrow maybe, but nothing more than that. So it surprised me the most when I had this sudden urge to write this... I liked Dev Anand, no doubt about it, but So did I like Jagjit Singh , Bhupen Hazarika and Shammi Kapoor. Well I do not have much explanation other than maybe that I could connect to some of his numbers and movies. Maybe nostalgia.. maybe self realization or whatever... But can somebody's basic nature change over night? So no,no no! No eulogies from me or a biographical account, rather I am writing this just as a sort of note to myself, a kind of journal entry so that I can look back at it in fond remembrance if in case some day I suffer from some serious memory lapse. (anyways it isn't possible to memorize every nuance, every feeling no matter how intense , hence this entry) because this is something I would like to turn back to, time and again, just to go through it all and remember . And yes maybe someday I would like my daughter to read it and listen to those numbers. As it is, generation gap spoils all the communication between parents and offsprings and my simply saying that- "In our times we used to ..." might just turn her off hence it is better to store it as an entry and pray that she comes upon it one fine day or maybe I will leave her the link in one of those perfumed letters that mothers store for their daughters to be opened when they are gone.. Oh hell! I am rambling. Let's come back to Dev Anand and what I have to share, for I just want to share with brief notes and not go into one of those long speeches.
I just want to list my favourite Dev Anand numbers . I could list them in my youtube playlist too, but this, I  guess will make things simpler for me to connect to.
              Choosing a couple of numbers or songs is like fishing in an ocean full of fish. You go crazy that is, with confusion and with choices. So I am going by the flash method. I will just think of few key words and the song that flashes through my mind in an instant wins over the rest. I know, not a technical method or sane one, but i am just going by the logic that the thing that impresses you most gets the deepest slot in one's psyche and which peeks out in flashes .

So going by that method, the first number that I will list is Nazrana bheja hai... from the hit movie Des Pardesh, a lovely movie with some beautiful songs and superb acting by all and a touching story line which of course had a serious core issue of illegal immigration and human trafficking. Dev Anand sure was a nazrana (gift ) from the almighty.

Five taste enhancers in the kitchen for a working woman

No Of course I don't mean sauces, ketchup, the salt and pepper shakers. This post is basically more for the Indian working woman, who at all moments should be prepared to , no not for an earthquake, but rather prepared to  hustle up a quick three course meal for four persons at a short notice any time during the 24 hrs . So a restaurant may have the liberty to close down at 11 pm, but not an Indian woman, given our traditions and culture (please don't ask me to elaborate on that as it is a very vast subject. Just remember that even Draupadi from Mahabharata was caught unaware when Lord Krishna turned up after cleaning up , for some grub. Its another matter that the Lord was generous enough to be satisfied with a grain of rice) So a woman must be prepared at all times for a quick cook up.
So how do you save time and effort? How can you shorten the process of chopping, grinding etc? I am not going to write about shortening the entire process, but instead focus on certain basic , should I say elements, that one should have stocked in order to quicken the process of cooking and also enhance the taste.

Indian Females Are Hypocrites- A myth

Indian Females Are Hypocrites-
               This is the general view of some frustrated egoistic males who have not yet learnt the art of facing and accepting a No for an answer. Bad opening line isn't it? No originality, nothing poetic or lyrical in it but again this post is not a labour of love, rather it is an answer to a very grave accusation, which brings us to the first line again.
Indian females are hypocrites. Why? In what context? Let me elaborate. This line is usually thrown at us , (yes yes , I am a true blue Indian Female) in reference to emotions, love and sex-In reference to our traditional values and supposedly materialistic mind set.
My defence is a microscopic dissection of our philosophy and no holds barred confessions of our innermost desire through which I will attempt to prove that we are not hypocrites.

Some Break Up facts

A fracture or break in relationships have become so common now a days that you hear anybody from the age group of 9 to 90- i.e anyone with decent hormone levels in their body suffering from heart breaks or as some would call them – break ups.  Very few are lucky to have escaped them. I am sure if you are reading this with rapt attention, there might be a reason for doing so- a heart break maybe? Are you trying to find yourself in this post? Hmmm! Lets see!

Most of the time the laments or rants are directed against the initiator (the one who announces the break up), but otherwise the clueless victim is always in the WHY mode. Why did it happen? Why me? Why now? Why so? or other perplexing questions- how could he/she? Where did I go wrong? Who is/what is the cause? What would have happened if this hadn’t happen? -The mind becomes a messed up war ground for messed up thoughts. One starts seeking justifications for whatever that happened with the sole purpose of shutting the ever glaring truth- that he/she was just not into you. No other truth can undermine this simple fact. Here I am not trying to analyze that situation, because there is nothing as such to analyze, rather as a veteran witness of numerous break ups (and a couple which I too have faced) I am just stating some simple facts – so simple that there just cannot be any other alternative to them. This endeavor, though will not lessen your grief or shock ,might help you to see things in a better yet bitter perspective and hopefully help you to cope  with your loss in a way that suits you best.

What does real beauty mean to me? My two bytes

Pic Credit- Pramathesh Borkotoky

       What does real beauty mean to me? Now that is something really tough to define. Not that ,I haven't tried to think about it earlier, but before I could go really deep into it and form my own analysis I chose to follow the the easy path and just accept the  world's definition of 'Beauty' being all about the inner beauty of a person, although I was somewhat confused about the part which mentions the 'beauty within'. It seemed to mean different things to different people which explained maybe why different people defined beauty differently. For some inner beauty meant a beautiful soul, for few it meant strength of character, while some others had a healthy body and spiritual out look in mind. Some perceived innocence as beautiful, while others found the raw earthiness an exquisite thing,  but it definitely was different for everyone. In fact even the same person had different perceptions of beauty at different period of time.
           So what did I perceive beauty as? 37 years of my life and it needed a contest by Dove to prompt me to do some serious thinking about it! Hail Dove!  "Beauty being about the beauty within" definitely has a point ,but some how, there seems to be a missing piece somewhere-some thing that my heart cannot connect to... Well at least I feel so . If inner beauty is everything why don't I find every great person in history, beautiful, the way I would like to. I love them, admire them, look up to  them. Their strength of character awes me.They inspire me. They definitely make me feel that the world is beautiful, but...yes there is something definitely missing. Maybe I will have my answer ,only if I look back in time.My time!

All Rise

Pic courtesy-blog.blogcatalog.com

          Picture this in a picture hall, or to be appropriate ,you are in the theater on a lazy Sunday afternoon- The males clad most probably, in comfortable Bermuda shorts, the ladies -in skirts,halter necks, capris etc etc- I am sure you get the picture well. In short a perfect afternoon to chill out with a movie. The movie is just about to begin, you have already started chomping on your popcorns, the baby snuggling comfortably on your belly to have a good afternoon nap and your wife/girlfriend just starting to sip her lemonade, the old couple resting their old limbs to enjoy this block buster family movie, the couple at the dark corner getting cosy cosy -And then! Just then the screen screams- All rise for the National Anthem! There starts a minor chaos- Some poor soul exclaims "shit!" people clamor to prove that they are not unpatriotic - the popcorn flies from someone's lap as he/ she jumps up from the seat. The baby wails as the poor thing has been jerked awake by a sudden movement. The couple jumps up bewildered. The Uncle ji and Auntiji painfully rises up. Some one spills the hot coffee while someone else yelps in pain... And the National Anthem plays on in the background. Funny?

Justifying Fear

source- www.mobilephun.com

           Imagine a person who is devoid of fear from anything. He doesn't fear death, torture, evil, retribution. Free from the fear of harm to his near and dear ones . Wow! He can be our next super hero if we train him well. The stuff that spies like 007 and Ethan Hawk are made of. But think of such a human being on the other side ( that is if you consider a scenario of good and evil and you are on the side of righteousness) Just imagine the killing machine he might turn out to be with no fear of punishment, pain, judgement day... Anything can go both ways. We are taught to be brave from a young age and I don't disagree but I believe a little bit of fear is necessary to maintain a harmony and sanctity in the world. Just like science, fear is also a necessary evil .
         If people would have really feared the outcome of smoking, drugs and alcohol, they wouldn't be addicted to them. Somewhere the fear factor was just not adequate to deter them from indulging in those in spite of the horrendous anti tobacco posters.